What about now?

My aunt texted me last night when I was all stressed up due to the coming exams.

She asked if I miss home.

I replied her that I miss everything back there, I even miss things that I usually don't like about.

That is how desperate I am.

Sometimes, I don't get the whole idea of me being here.

We search for the desirable comfort zone all the time.

I know where my comfort zone is, I found my comfort zone 1 year ago.

But, here I am now...far far away from it.

Alone.

Why?

It doesn't make sense eh?

Maybe I will get to know the answers to it down the road....

Or...maybe I will never know?

25 hours

Last night was horrible.

Maybe it is the most terrible night ever..

A guy from the hall popped up a question that I have no answer to.

Instead of giving a yes no answer, I explained myself....

Yea...WTH!

After lunch, I went to check the mails, and was surprised with Lenny's mail.

Hahahahaha.

The little "advice" written on the envelope drew a smile on my face.

That mail made my day.

I'm thankful.

Mouring

Today, I am listening to the songs I used to play in the car when I was at work...

I suddenly miss those times when I was working very hard.

I enjoyed the mixed feelings between fun, exhausted, frustrated and satisfaction.

I enjoyed the 4WD given by the company to me.

I enjoyed having to drive hundreds of kilometers to work everyday.

I enjoyed driving at 120-140km/h.

I enjoyed the adrenaline rush.

I enjoyed working as a team.

I enjoyed working with the guys.

I enjoyed having all the attention from the guys because I was the only girl.


Unfortunately, I wont be able to feel the same again.

Never will.

Because?

I am a girl.

Outta Place

Today, a guy was talking to me during dinner and he asked if I still miss home after so many months.

My answer?

"ALWAYS"

I miss having my family and friend around me.

I MISS hanging out with Lenny, well, if you have read my blog entries years back, you will probably know that she is my buddy, she is my partner in crime.

She is someone I can call to “shop” with before the sun comes out. We shoppped and had breakfast at wet markets at 4am.

Back then, she was 99.99% there whenever I needed her. I would ring her up to ask for her suggestions on where to have dinner, and we can talk from small little things to big huge dreams of hers.

I miss having the feeling that I can reach her anytime I want.

I am not saying that she doesn’t care about me now but the time zone and our current locations really make a difference.

Right now, I am here alone to deal with all the little issues of mine. I don’t talk to people here about my feelings. I don't think anyone gives a damn about it. So I thought it is just a waste of time.

I don’t think there is anyone here who has the capability of playing Lenny’s role in my life. She can put up with my silly attitude and style.

I was telling my sister how nice it would be if Lenny is here with me...

and guess what?

She is actually GLAD that this partner in crime of mine is not with me at the moment.

*LOLS*

I miss her.