http://doesntmatteranymore.blogspot.com

Sins

2010-06-04T12:37:00.000+12:00

Note to self : one silly mistake that leads to massive destruction.

What about now?

2009-10-20T12:41:00.002+13:00

My aunt texted me last night when I was all stressed up due to the coming exams.

She asked if I miss home.

I replied her that I miss everything back there, I even miss things that I usually don't like about.

That is how desperate I am.

Sometimes, I don't get the whole idea of me being here.

We search for the desirable comfort zone all the time.

I know where my comfort zone is, I found my comfort zone 1 year ago.

But, here I am now...far far away from it.

Alone.

Why?

It doesn't make sense eh?

Maybe I will get to know the answers to it down the road....

Or...maybe I will never know?

25 hours

2009-10-17T16:48:00.004+13:00

Last night was horrible.

Maybe it is the most terrible night ever..

A guy from the hall popped up a question that I have no answer to.

Instead of giving a yes no answer, I explained myself....

Yea...WTH!

After lunch, I went to check the mails, and was surprised with Lenny's mail.

Hahahahaha.

The little "advice" written on the envelope drew a smile on my face.

That mail made my day.

I'm thankful.

Mouring

2009-10-16T13:10:00.001+13:00

Today, I am listening to the songs I used to play in the car when I was at work...

I suddenly miss those times when I was working very hard.

I enjoyed the mixed feelings between fun, exhausted, frustrated and satisfaction.

I enjoyed the 4WD given by the company to me.

I enjoyed having to drive hundreds of kilometers to work everyday.

I enjoyed driving at 120-140km/h.

I enjoyed the adrenaline rush.

I enjoyed working as a team.

I enjoyed working with the guys.

I enjoyed having all the attention from the guys because I was the only girl.

Unfortunately, I wont be able to feel the same again.

Never will.

Because?

I am a girl.

Outta Place

2009-10-13T02:44:00.002+13:00

Today, a guy was talking to me during dinner and he asked if I still miss home after so many months.

My answer?

"ALWAYS"

I miss having my family and friend around me.

I MISS hanging out with Lenny, well, if you have read my blog entries years back, you will probably know that she is my buddy, she is my partner in crime.

She is someone I can call to “shop” with before the sun comes out. We shoppped and had breakfast at wet markets at 4am.

Back then, she was 99.99% there whenever I needed her. I would ring her up to ask for her suggestions on where to have dinner, and we can talk from small little things to big huge dreams of hers.

I miss having the feeling that I can reach her anytime I want.

I am not saying that she doesn’t care about me now but the time zone and our current locations really make a difference.

Right now, I am here alone to deal with all the little issues of mine. I don’t talk to people here about my feelings. I don't think anyone gives a damn about it. So I thought it is just a waste of time.

I don’t think there is anyone here who has the capability of playing Lenny’s role in my life. She can put up with my silly attitude and style.

I was telling my sister how nice it would be if Lenny is here with me...

and guess what?

She is actually GLAD that this partner in crime of mine is not with me at the moment.

*LOLS*

I miss her.

Preferences

2009-08-13T23:23:00.007+12:00

Given the situations below.
Which one do you prefer?

Situation 1:
Your with your loved ones in a place hot (not humid) and hazey weather.

Situation 2:
Your all alone in a windy cool place.

I'm in Situation 2 and I get complaints from people who are in Situation 1, telling me how terrible the weather in their place is...

But I constantly whine alot about my weather too.

Attempting

2008-09-15T04:31:00.003+12:00

*coughs*

*blows dust of her blog*

Hi people?

It has been more than 1 year since I last blogged leh.

Initially, I wanted to just abandon this blog and walk away. But I couldn’t do it…on my own?

*sniffs and tries to be dramatic*

Time passes, things changed…and people changed and…and…some people out there are just too lazy to blog… (example: Angelus?)

Hehe =p

Okay, here I am, wanting to start blogging again.

This is an attempt, okay? I am not promising anything but I will try my best to blog about something I am going to blog about.

Give me time to come out with something, alright?

*turns the hour glass upright to start the sand to flow down ward*

Hell

2007-08-28T02:20:00.000+12:00

Today is the worst day of all.

It has been a very long time since I last felt this way.

All the things just went wrong like that.

Last week, we’ve planned to go to Kundasang on Monday, which is today, I even booked the rooms. This morning, we did not get to go cause equipments will only arrive tomorrow, so, I called the hotel and pushed the check-in date to tomorrow.

Few hours ago, #1 told me to push it to Wednesday, cause the equipments can only be delivered after declaration has been made tomorrow.

Work mate #3 back in office isn’t friendly. It’s very challenging for me to deal with him.

I have to keep reminding me to not get angry.

I’ve not been working for almost a week here.

No! It’s not fun, not anymore.

Orh, and because we can only start work on Wednesday, I might have to stay back throughout the National Day’s holidays, and that sucks, because, I should be spending my holidays in Singapore.

This is crap.

We are all stressed and everyone seems to be pissing everyone off, or maybe, everyone is pissing me off, but I bet its more like, I’m pissing everyone off.

I don’t know.

Truth is, I don’t give a damn about it anymore.

This whole thing is killing me inside out.

Paradise

2007-08-23T04:15:00.000+12:00

4 days later…

Great islands, #1 and #2 enjoyed themselves snorkeling and ‘eyes washing’ at the same time. You know what I mean here, guys… what can you expect from them when they are around girls in bikinis?

I rented a snorkeling mask but in the end I did not snorkel cause I don’t think that it will be fun. Once upon a time, I did my snorkeling off shore and now you expect me to snorkel by the beach? *proud* =p

Take a look at the photos we took and you’ll be able to judge how much fun we had.

… So many days without work, I am starting to get lazy leow, we were out shopping for 2 days already.

Yesterday was Warisan Square and this morning was Centre Point.

We also watched a movie right after dinner just now and then they guys are out in the bar again. Why? Cause its Wednesday and its ladies night.

I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow cause I don’t see my job coming, yet…

Err... people? Thanks for dropping by to check if I've already updated my blog.

Isn't it amazing that I finally did? Yeah... I knew it.

Eleven Minutes to Midnight

2007-08-19T03:49:00.000+12:00

Look, don't angry at me, I can explain this.

You have no idea how sorry I am for not being able to update my blog at least once a week. I have too much work on hands and too little time for it, you see?

Please forgive me. *looks around with puppy eyes*

Work has been great! Workmates are nice and they take really good care of me. I'm the only girl in this team, so I have all the reasons to get special treatment, you see?

I am now blogging away from Kundasang, its a small town situated approximately 5000 feet above sea level, its along the valley of Mount Kinabalu. The temperature here is not as cold as what workmate#1 told me.

But the road to my work place almost killed me though. The car sick I mean. Now... I don't know if I want to go through the road again to go back to KK...

Orh, the view? Its amazingly beautiful, the valleys, the sky, the clouds...

The photos above, #1 woke me up at 6am to take them, cause most of the time, the summit is covered with thick thick clouds.

Soon, a supervisor thinks that we were too dumb to sacrifice our sleep just for photos of big rock surrounded by clouds...

Im sorry, people. Im getting tired here, going to save this as draft, will post this asap, I promise.

Almost midnight
17 Aug 2007

...................................................oOo.................................................................................

Okay, here I am again, blogging from Velvet Lodge (http://www.velvet.com.my/) I can’t believe I survived the road trip back here! I really don’t want to go up there anymore! I almost puke in the car just now.

Velvet Lodge. It’s a wonderful place, reasonable and its comfy here, and, and it has Wi-Fi. The next time you guys come to KK, you guys should stay here! Its highly recommended. (Click on the link to find out)

We haven’t done our job in Kundasang but there is some technical problem up there, we have no choice but to temporary halt everything.

Since we left our job up there, which means, there will be no job for us tomorrow, and I guess we shouldn’t waste our time in the lodge tomorrow, so, I guess (again) I’ll be island hopping with work mate #1 and #2.

By the way, #2 just arrived from Kuching, and both of them are still out in the bar having fun with girls.

Almost midnight
18 Aug 2007

Pain in My Ass

2007-08-02T17:30:00.000+12:00

The day has just turn bad, real bad.

My bf fell on the ground, now he has scratches all over him. Damn.

I did hold on to him but it fell off my hand! My friends are going to tease him leow. =(

Okay, work is so far so good, except that I will have to work with guys, lotsa’em. Will be traveling in 2 weeks time. The project will last for the next 4 months, I hope that its going to be fun enough for me to not quit my job.

I seriously have a feeling that this site is going to be forgotten real soon. I have little time to update and you guys might not have the patience to keep coming here in hope for new entry.

Im writing this entry because I want to let everyone knows that my bf has scratches all over him leow and that hurts me.

By the way, the photo below is one of the best shot I've ever took.

I'm Lovin It

2007-06-03T06:18:00.001+12:00

Exactly 26 hours ago, I was out with Lenny.

We were crazy enough to sneak out of the house just to have breakfast at Mc Donald at 4 in the morning.

Mum called me right after I had my order, she did not scold me, surprising.

I went out without informing, cause everyone was asleep and I was too fed up with my work I had throughout the night.

We visited few wet markets right after that, bought breakfast home and by the time I got home, it was 6.30am.

When 2 bored people got together, you will be amazed with how crazy they can go.

I slept from then till 12noon. Work at 2 was disappointing though, I was sent to a branch about 6 miles away from Lenny.

I wanted a smartphone so badly

2007-05-29T05:31:00.000+12:00

!!!!!

I was about to get my very first smart phone! I was about to get SE P990i okay? And guess what? My sister and my brother said it isn’t necessary for me to get one!

June asked me not to. Lenny asked me not to also, at first la, but by the time, Lenny agreed, it was too late already.

*heart shatters*

My mum just came back from her Singapore trip. Man! She really knows how to shop like a Datin. Osim massager, Hush Puppies, G2000 and so much more!

Dad didn’t say anything when mum was showing off just now.

I bet he was pretending not to listen to the prices mum mentioned, in hope that she will not claim her expenses from him. Lols!

Guess I should sleep my sorrow away now. P990i..... :/

The boys are bringing me out for breakfast tomorrow.

At least, I have something to look forward to.

Can't wait.

Combos

2007-05-27T05:13:00.000+12:00

Great.

It has been two weeks since I discovered a swollen lymph node just below my left jaw.

I consulted two physicians; the first one gave me muscles reliever cream because she couldn’t feel the swollen lymph node, the second one, he felt it but refused to give me Augmentin cause he said I had no source of infections and told me that one of the treatment is observation. I couldn’t stand it.

I almost went crazy because I kept bombing myself with all sorts of question.

Can you imagine how my life was for the past two weeks?

The first thing I did in the morning, every morning was to palpate my neck and check if the swollen is still there.

At night, I will check again if its still there and silently hope that it will deflate when I’m awake.

One hour ago, I did a test and found out that its not just normal infection. I might have some cacat disease based on the symptoms I read from sites.

Now, this is even greater, I have work due in 2 weeks time and I'm not even half done with it.

Well, at least I don't have to wake up tomorrow and ask myself if I am having some sort of disease because obviously, I am clever enough to diagnose myself with it already.

Let's sit back and watch if I can survive this.

10 Incredible Things that Are Playing in My Mind.

2007-03-31T16:56:00.000+12:00

1. Everyone is like that, you will have enjoy lotsa shits, lotsa scary sleepless nights, to finally learn to reject, to put a stop on the reopening of an old scar.

2. I still can’t accept the fact about experiences. They always come right after you need it. Sian.

3. From expectations to disappointment to more expectations, if you don’t do something about it, that cycle will keep on repeating until you get fed up with yourself.

4. Sometimes it is just easier to lower your expectations so that when things don’t go your way then it doesn’t hurt as much.

5. I like time. It’s the perfect solution to unlock the inner secrets in people. All I need to do is to sit back, relax and wait for the flaws to slowly appear.

6. I don’t get some people. They are so good in writing fiction with their tongues. Go come out with a book or something la.

7. Friendship comes when two sincere people stop pretending to be someone else, just to impress each other.

8. It is love when I can overcome my phobia towards marriage.
-The answer to the question “How can you identify love?” by Anon earlier on.

9. I wonder if what Kok Ping told me just now was a lie. Herm...

10. I am so going to run away if I am able to survive all the shitty situations I am going through right now.

My mind is like God. It works in many mysterious ways.

Dark Circles

2007-03-15T17:26:00.000+13:00

I used to be afraid of death.

But surprisingly, right now, I'm more afraid of living.

How long do I have to live like this?

Why do I have to get punished for things I did not do?

Whether its karma, obligation or responsibility.

Truth is, I don’t really bother anymore.

I just want to pay up and depart as soon as possible.

I learn to admire the deceased.

I can’t wait to finally sleep on my death bed.

A well-planned death for me.

Leave Me Again

2007-03-11T04:54:00.000+13:00

Life is cruel.

By the time we learnt all life lessons.

We're too old to give a crap!

The Other Side

2007-02-27T04:22:00.000+13:00

You must have trained me. Well, probably indirectly.

Because I am not angry this round. Not a bit.

Heartalicious

2007-02-14T17:40:00.000+13:00

Why is there even dating if people are going to cheat on each other?

Guess that's exactly how society works hor?

Play Wiz Me

2007-02-13T18:49:00.000+13:00

Sometimes, you stay awake in your bed and regret for the things you did not do in the past.
You hate yourself for not telling someone important how much they meant to you.

You feel sorry for yourself, for letting somebody,
just anybody the chance to hurt you and the people you loved.
You are ashamed for not being careful and sensitive enough.

You regret for the things you did in the past.
You feel bad for yourself for being stubborn and cruel.

How much you wish that it was all a dream, and when comes morning,
things are going to be perfect again.

You desperately hope that you will be able to start everything all over again,
you start to promise yourself that if you were given the chance,
you are so going to make up to everything single thing and people.

But, sometimes, people need to go through all these shitty situations to grow up,
to learn how to appreciate the people in the past;
and to learn how to make each others’ lives easier.

Admit it, it’s not easy to learn how to not take people for granted.

Love Phuket Love

2007-01-24T07:51:00.001+13:00

Sorry people, I guess I will have to skip Journey to the West - Part II. I am going to blog on the reasons I love Phuket.

The words here aren't enough for me to tell you how much I love that place.

But, I am still going to attempt it anyway.

Phuket is the best place for me in the whole universe.

A Place Like Home.

Right after I’ve landed at Phuket International Airport, I rushed to queue for the passport clearance. While I was in the queue, there was this Thai Immigration Officer who spoke thai to me and sort of like asked me to queue up at the other lane.

Not knowing how to respond, I just gave her a silly smile.

By the time she saw the passport that I was holding, she laughed and said she thought that I was a Thai Girl. Turned out, she was so nice that she wanted to guide me to the fast lane for the Thais.

The people here are so friendly. Okay la, instead of saying that they are friendly, maybe I should just admit that I look like a Thai Girl hor?! -.-

Well, people around keep smiling and greet you. I guess that’s the reason they look more pleasant, smile is after all an inexpensive way to change your looks ma.

From their smiles, its as if that the unexpected tsunami that visited them 13 months ago never happened. It is just awesome that they are able to move on after such disaster.

No one cares about what you wear.

I always feel comfortable in short shorts, but in Phuket, I walked around with my swimming suit! This place is where no one would give a damn about it.

Even if you have a walk in the town topless!

So, if you love to go telanjang and walk around in your room with a big mirror infront of you. You can do it at the beaches in Phuket. I saw lotsa topless aunties at the beach too.

I looked around whenever I topless women passed by, I noticed that no one actually paid real attention to these women. Probably people think that they are nuts! Cause their appearances weren’t tempting at all la, throw face only.

Sorry la, but I have to say this, most of them looked like some old hippopotamuses.

Heaven for the Elephants.

In case you don’t know. Elephants are one of my favorite animals. I once watched a program on National Geographic, and since then, I have this special obsession towards those Jumbos.

I can’t help it but to go crazy awhile and touch it whenever I can.

Elephants still play an important role in Thailand. Now, the white ones are being worshipped and stay inside the Royal Palace. In the past, people decorated these royal members with jewelries for the royal functions.

Amazing beaches.

Located slightly above the equator, the beaches here are different from the beaches I went before. The sea water, the sand, the environment, they are all so different.

Want to know how I spent my days in Phuket?

I got up in the morning to have breakfast, then headed directly to the beach. Put on tanning oil to have a swim and blanket myself with the sunlight till noon.

When the sun goes blazing in the noon, I crawled back to the swimming pool at the resort.

Had a swim there till the evening, that is the time when you can go back to the beach to have romantic evening walks.

At night, I went around the town to have seafood dinner.

Doesn’t it sound fun?

Trust me people, Phuket is a must-go destination!

The ice creams.

I love ice creams!

Unlike the one we have at home, The Mc.D and Burger King outside home are serving the second best ice creams; the first one still goes to those I had in New Zealand.

According to The Guy, one of the special ingredients for such ice cream is Pork Oil, and that is a fact. No wonder la the sundaes I had in Mc.D at home don’t taste as nice as the one I had outside home.

I never thought that I deserved to be described by the word “beautiful”. The truth is the word “nice”, “pretty” or “attractive” doesn’t get along well with me.

But here in Phuket, the guys here made me feel confident again. I went round Patong for an evening walk in my short shorts and spaghetti top, the guys that I passed by went like, “You beautiful!” all the way!

You must be thinking that they must be blind hor. Unfortunately, I don’t care if they were telling lies to me or they were blind; they unintentionally made me feel like an angel!

I love Kata. But if you ask me to name one thing that I truly like about Patong, I would say the feelings those guys provided me with.

The pride, the self confidence I can always get.

Guess I probably should just move permanently to Phuket and never come back hor?

Journey to the West - Part I

2007-01-24T06:15:00.001+13:00

I had one hell of good time in Phuket.

Sit back and relax while I show off here okay? Maybe go get yourself coffee or some snacks. I don’t get to show off that often ma, so this is the chance that I should really treasure.

I planned this trip about 2 months ago. So, the air tickets are kindda cheap la.

Skip my KCH-KL flight. Nothing to talk about actually, LCCT looks like some warehouse, you know? The last time I flew with Airasia was 3 years ago. As usual, my flight was delayed. Maklumlah, Airasia ba. The retiming tricks very well known one la.

If it wasn’t because of the cheap fare and the fact that I wasn’t rushing to catch my connecting flight, I would certainly go for MAS. I have been flying with MAS for the last 3 years. See? This is showing off again.

Lets skip LCCT. Skip the International Terminal in LCCT too. There are 3 shop lots operating only, 1 duty free, 1 coffee house and some kind of mini mart. I shouldn’t be talking about the International Terminal, so skip la.

My flight to Phuket delayed for 30 minutes lagik.

I met a friend on the plane when I was on my way to Phuket. He asked me where would I be staying in Phuket, but I told him that I have no idea cause it wasn’t me who planned for the accommodation.

He then told me that there are three main tourist attractions in Phuket.

There are Kata, Patong and Phuket Town.

Click HERE for the Phuket Map.

Kata and Patong are at the south west of the island, Phuket Town is some where at the east west of the island. Look carefully hor.

He said that, they are more Europeans in Kata compared to Patong. Kata is sort of high class abit. Patong is where you can get cheap rooms, about 100MYR for a room. There are more bars at Patong and bars come with lotsa girls.

If I am a guy, I would certainly go for Patong. I can always get a female tourist guide and win over her to spend 24 hours a day with me throughout my vacation.

Imagine playing bedminton together and have light breakfast on the bed the next morning before heading for the real breakfast and a sunbath on the beach.

Okay. Okay. You there, come back here. Don’t let the thought runs all over you. Leave alone Patong before your thought runs wild.

Back to the flight, I am halfway talking about my flight hor!

After 1 hour and 15 minutes flight, the sit belt signs were switched on and the captain finally ordered the cabin crews to be seated for landing. I looked out from my window seat and I can see the green clear sea beneath me.

If it wasn't because I was on the plane. I would have just dive into the sea beneath me.

I later saw the run away, was so excited. Everyone on the plane can felt that the plane was actually going to land.

But suddenly, the captain pulled it up again and later he told us that there was a dog crossing the runway. Therefore, he is going to bring us round the island, and he is not going to charge us for the second landing. Hahaha.

Upon our landing at Phuket International Airport, I think the stewardess was on drug or something. She made the announcement saying that we’ve landed at Langkawi Airport in Bahasa Malaysia.

Most of the passengers laughed already. She then said it again in English before the other crew member corrected her. She must be very ashamed of herself. LOLS.

I am going to tell about Kata in the next post.

New Years Resolutions for 2007

2007-01-12T17:34:00.000+13:00

The last time I came out with a list of new years resolutions was years ago. I still remember when my sis told me to write out all the resolutions on a hard copy, put them in an envelope with my own address on it and seal it.

By the end of the year, post the letter back to myself and check if I'm successful.

Brillian idea huh?

This year, I'm going to write them out here to show off.

Here goes.

Resolution No. 1: Complete my current studies.
I am allergic to coursework and examinations. I don’t get it, why pay to get yourself tortured with assignments, exams and the results? I have been an idiot once, but not anymore. You can’t trick me into studying. La la la~

Resolution No. 2: Get a full time job.
I want to get employed this year. No detailed description. NEXT!

Resolution No. 3: Be a happy girl.
I get emotional all the time. I found out that the main reason I don’t feel happy is because I love to punish myself with somebody else’s fault. I should never allow this to happen this year and the year after this year and the year after that year.

Resolution No. 4: Spend less money and invest more.
I have been spending quite a lot on ojipala stuffs. Most of the time, I do not know where my money gone to. Grr... Maybe I should go for share investment huh?

Resolution No. 5: No strings attached for me…yet!
I know it’s the trend this year to get into all these serious love relationships. 7 out of 10 friends around me are already attached and some of them are on the road to buy houses TOGETHER. Isn’t it impressive? But leave me alone, I’m fine with my current state.

Resolution No. 6: Be VERY patient with my hair.
Do you know why am I always in a bad hair day? Blame it on my patience. For the past one year, I trimmed my hair before it was long enough for me to do something on it. Damn me!

This is a 12 days overdue post, I know. Can't blame me, I'm a slow learner ba.

Dum Deee Dum…

2007-01-10T21:44:00.000+13:00

Yay! Yay!

*shouts*

On the 10th day of year 2007.

I received the best news that happened to me this year.

To hell to all the worries that almost got me drowned for the past one month!

My project proposal has been approved and I’m one tiny step closer to complete my studies.

I can't believe life is great again. *goes around and gives group hugs*

I'm just a simple girl with simple needs, you see?

One small event like this can make me a happy girl for the next ~~1 week~~ 4 days.

*rwars*

Look at Her Face

2007-01-10T05:31:00.000+13:00

Dear Airasia,

I know that you probably won’t pay attention to this email but still, I need to tell you how I truly feel about you.

You practically drive me crazy here. Cannot let me book my air tickets peacefully, is it?

I bet there are thousands or maybe millions of idiots out there, doing exactly what I am doing here. I tried to log in to your website 63496734968 times since 7 just now and when I finally logged it, entered all the details; you just simply logged me out right before I can finish up with the payment details!

Must die die logged me out before I get to pay you hor?

Sian la!

You know very well that this offer of yours is going to attract everyone’s attention, especially those poor people like me who doesn’t mind to work harder and even starve just to be on board!

So, next time, if you know you are going to do this free seats promotion, can you please add some more data lines to support the transactions? You earn big already, should spend some money to upgrade your server lah hor!

Thank you.

Yours truly,

Like It Was

2007-01-04T03:20:00.000+13:00

It’s another new year already.

It’s the third day of new year already.

I still haven’t come up with a list of new years resolutions.

I actually read up all the entries I made last year to look for inspirations for 2007 new years resolutions.

Please remind me not to do that anymore!

The entries are presented in a very ugly way. Throw my face only. And because its face throwing. I removed the entire blog content to another URL.

I wanted to delete the blog but on second thought, maybe I should keep it. Just incase my grandchildren want to go through some of the sweet things I wrote inside. Heh.

Happy new year, people!

I need to figure out the new years resolutions before its Christmas again.